


Just a Name

by JDwritesnonsense



Category: Smile For Me (Video Game)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Suicidal Thoughts, but everything turns out okay :), friendship and some angst, reader is a character, reader is established as a shapeshifter in a world where nonhuman people exist, reader is female, reader is flower kid - Freeform, reader is rose, really depends on how you interpret it, rose is my self insert, tw: suicidal ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 19:37:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20711420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JDwritesnonsense/pseuds/JDwritesnonsense
Summary: Rose helps Boris move out of the Habitat, and in the process, she meets a peculiar puppet.Habit listens in on their conversation and doesn't like what he hears.





	Just a Name

It was a hellish day in the Habitat. Sunlight mercilessly flooded the scorched earth, heat reflecting back in waves. It was the kind of humid, sticky heat that permeated your skin and dragged you down by your bones; the kind of heat that could very easily kill you. It wasn’t unusual for the summer season in that area, but that didn’t mean anybody was used to it. 

Rose took shelter against the heatwave in the AC of Habit’s office. A few weeks after she (and everyone else) had left the Habitat, she’d gotten an email that incoherently apologized for two pages and then asked her for help. 

Boris was moving out of the Habitat, and apparently, she was the only “friend” he still had. 

She didn’t really mind helping people move. Especially out in rural areas, where she could use the best of her shapeshifting skills to make the work quick. 

She just really, really hated heat.

It wasn’t even a species thing, it was a her thing. She got heat sick like you couldn’t imagine. But, here she was, once again proving that she was unable to tell any of her friends “no” when they needed help.

Now, however, she was taking a rightfully deserved break. Her penance for it was a shirt and shorts drenched in sweat, dark hair plastered flat against her skull. Habit was in his van, cleaning up spilled paperwork. She had a blessed few minutes to herself.

Or, at least, she thought as much.

Not 2 minutes into her half-nap on the concrete floor, something shuffled in the operation room. Rose tiredly lifted her head from the ground and peered in the room’s direction. After a few heartbeats of silence, she shifted her headphones into microphones and tried again.

Shuffle shuffle. Scratch scratch scratch scratch.

She mumbled a protest aimed at nobody, letting her head hit the floor again. God, it was probably rats. It wouldn’t surprise her that he had rats in the walls. The whole office barely looked up to code.

Rose laid there for another few moments in silence.

THUNK.

Her head shot up again and her arms followed, scrambling up to her feet. She trotted to the room without thinking, praying one of the little buggers hadn’t pushed over something expensive. Habit would probably start crying again. He’d been crying a lot in the past few hours, and she was hoping for a few minutes of peace.

She worked the door open and peered inside. 

Nothing looked horrifically damaged. There was a tattered old book on the floor, which she supposed was the culprit of the noise, and on top of the counter sat Habit’s puppet. She picked up the book, briefly noting that it looked like a book of kid’s stories - but she couldn’t say for sure, considering the title was in Russian. 

She peered at the puppet, setting the book back down on the counter. She’d seen it a few times in the PSAs, but never up close and personal. It was massive. She didn’t know how big puppets were supposed to be, but “bigger than her head” was not what she’d imagined. It looked lovingly crafted. 

It sat there innocently, staring up at her with cute little felt eyes. Habit definitely wouldn’t want to forget it.

Rose picked it up off the counter, turning it over a few times in her hands. It was soft. Come to think of it, she’d never really seen any puppet in person, sock puppets aside. It was actually pretty neat.

She looked it in the eyes accusingly, feeling a bit playful with the toy in her hands. “Either you knocked over that book, or there’s rats in here. Care to explain, sir?”

Although she’d never really cared for toys, somehow, she was overcome with the urge to put it on her hand and play with it. Surely Habit wouldn’t mind, right? Emotional breakdowns aside, he was pretty damn goofy. If anything, maybe she could use it to cheer him up…?

She slid it onto her arm and fit her fingers easily into a slot made for much bigger hands. She gave it a few experimental om nom nom motions and giggled. God, that was cute.

Her eyes widened in confusion when her arm twitched.

She cautiously moved the puppet to eye level, looking it in the face. Something felt wrong. She never twitched. 

“It’ wasn’t me, office-r, I swear!!” She said, the puppet waving its arms in playful surrender.

In that moment, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that it wasn’t her doing this.

For one, the puppet had no mechanisms for her to move the arms.

And the voice that just came out of her mouth was Habit’s.

She tried to hold the thing at arm’s length, but the arm under the puppet didn’t even respond. She tried to shapeshift it out, but once again was met with nothing. Panicking, she tried to rip it off with her other hand, but somehow, her fingers stopped just short.

“What the FUCK?” Rose screeched, scrabbling to get to it and feeling something pull her arm back by the tendons.

She watched the puppet’s little fists fall accusingly to its hips, and it narrowed its felt eyes at her. “Hey! That kind of language ism’t nice!! I should wash ur mouth!”

“Uh,” she said, intelligently. She had several questions, and all of them crowded for priority in her mind. What eventually came out was, “I’m s-sorry??”

“Hmmmmmmm…” it said, Habit’s voice slipping through her teeth. It narrowed its eyes further at her, for a moment. Whatever it saw seemed to satisfy it, because in the next moment, she felt her hand stretch and saw it grin. “O-kay! You are forgivivm. But dom’t do that again!!!”

Rose was suddenly terrified that she couldn’t if she wanted to.

If this thing could control her arms, what else could it do? Could it make her shapeshift? If it could change her voice, then it could, to an extent, change the rest of her. How far did that go? How fucked was she?!

More importantly: how on God’s green earth was this thing ALIVE? Was it another Carla situation? Could Habit just… animate whatever the hell he wanted?

“Wow, you r so anxious!” The puppet said. To her horror, her arm moved closer, and the puppet gripped both her cheeks with its fuzzy little hands. It pressed its mouth to her nose. “MuAH! Kissy better!!”

Rose was reeling, and that was a big dose of gasoline on the fire.

“Okay, okay, hold on a goddamn second,” she said, once again trying to move the puppet away from her. It DID move, but Rose was certain that it was because the puppet wanted to move - not her. “What the fuck are you?”

“I’m Pabit!!” It said, rather pointedly ignoring her curse. Which was good, because she would have blown up in indignation. It posed, cupping its face. “I’m here 2 make u smile!!”

Rose smiled nervously.

The puppet cheered and clapped its hands with a dull little pap pap pap sound.

“How the - How are you moving my arm?” Rose asked, dreading the answer.

“He can just do that.”

Rose jolted, turing around. In the doorway stood Habit himself, a taller and sadder version of the puppet on her arm. He looked miserable, as he had all day - but she thought she saw his eyes light up a bit, seeing her with his puppet on her arm.

“I’m sorry,” he said, walking forward and trying to tug Pabit from her. Her whole arm pivoted back out of his reach, Pabit blowing a little raspberry. Rose glanced back at it - him? - in a panic, not at all enjoying the semi-possession of her body.

Habit sighed quietly. His whole body radiated exhaustion.

“I’m really sorry,” he repeated. “Kamal… he put him on once, and he did the same thing. He just wants you to play with him. If you’d like, you can keep him occupied while I finish moving…?”

“How… How much more is there?” Rose asked, trying to ignore Pabit tapping her face repeatedly.

“Just my old paint,” Boris smiled thinly, his cheeks dusting red. “You can leave, too. If you want. You’ve helped so much today. More than… more than I can pay you back for.”

“Look, if I’d wanted you to pay me, I would have said that in my email,” Rose dismissed, trying to push Pabit’s face away from her own. “It’s just nice to spend a day with a friend.”

Habit blushed deeper. Behind Rose’s grip on his face, Pabit let out a long, drawn out “Awwwwwwww!!”

“Then, um… after I’m done,” Habit said, twisting his hands nervously. “I can give you a ride back into town, and… we can get that coffee, or something. If you want?”

Rose finally gave up on ignoring Pabit and moved her hand. The puppet responded by latching onto the side of her head, squealing softly with joy. Strangely enough, now that the shock factor had worn off, she wasn’t quite so… scared, anymore. Somehow, Pabit was still cute. 

Despite the… arm… possession.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Rose said, smiling softly at him. “Or maybe like, lemonade, or tea, or a smoothie, or anything cold as b-”

She glanced at Pabit, who had bent her arm unnaturally so he could hug her shoulder. He seemed to be enjoying her shapeshifting abilities.

“Cold as… beans?”

Habit chuckled, smiling in a way that reached all the way up to his eyes. It looked nice on him. Rose smiled a little bigger in response, reaching out to pat his arm. For a moment, he stared down at her hand as if it was alien. Then he just closed his eyes, leaning his head in that direction.

He was so obviously starved for touch that Rose almost hugged him. But, that felt a little too weird, given the context.

Without another word, Habit left her and Pabit to themselves. Rose heard the shifting of half empty paint cans in the next room. Whoever bought this property would have a field day with all the graffiti… 

She looked down at Pabit. He had his arms crossed expectantly, staring at her with half-closed felt eyes. He wiggled his little eyebrows at her when she met his gaze.

“...What?” Rose asked, frowning.

He wiggled his eyebrows harder and opened his maw in a grin, looking back and forth to her and the door. Rose suddenly realized what he was insinuating. Her face seriously attempted to burst into flame.

“NO, no, you shut your little mouth,” she snapped, turning her face away.

A squishy cloth finger poked her arm. Almost more disconcertingly - she was starting to get used to not having control over her hand.

“No!” she repeated with emphasis.

When Pabit spoke, it was a lot quieter than what she’d expected.

“Dad hasn’t been this happy in a long time.”

Rose looked down at him. Compared to how goofy he’d been earlier, he looked eerily serious. Somber, even. She had half a mind to be weirded out by how expressive his cloth face was, but honestly… this might as well be happening.

“What do you mean?” She whispered back. “He looks miserable.”

Pabit nodded, straining the tendons in Rose’s wrist. “I kno! But u saw his eyes, didm’t u?”

Rose thought for a moment. Yeah, actually… she did notice them crinkle up a bit, when he came into the room. 

“And how he smiled? Just now???” Pabit pushed, holding his hands to his cheeks.

“He smiles all the time,” Rose retorted, giving Pabit a side eye. “That’s like… his thing. His trademark.”

“YEA, dummy, but listen!” Pabit jumped up to her face, clutching her cheeks, and it was all she could do not to impulsively bite one of his arms off. “He smiles, but he doesnm’t mean it. But I kno what he looks like when he really, really smiles!!”

Rose stared at his tiny orange eyes, huge in their proximity. She could see where this was going, but whatever Pabit was doing to borrow her mouth, she couldn’t reverse it. At least, that’s the excuse she used for how speechless she was.

“He even show-ed u his teeth!! His real teeth!!!”

Rose huffed a breath, trying to find a place to interject, but Pabit was on a roll.

“He’s in L-!!”

Rose snapped her teeth shut. 

Pabit startled back, obviously not expecting her to wrench control from him. She gave him her best cold stare, but must have overshot the mark - it scared him enough to jump back as far as her arm would allow.

“He barely knows me,” she hissed, trying to sound calm. “How he feels isn’t yours to say. Or mine, for that matter.”

Rose suddenly realized that the other room was silent. Anxiety pooled in her gut. She forced herself to ignore it. Pabit was looking at her like he was about to cry, and she didn’t want those noises coming out of her mouth. She had to keep talking.

“I don’t know who he likes, how he likes, or what he likes,” she whispered. “I don’t know the first thing about him, let alone how he feels about me. Last time I got an update on his feelings, he was just excited to have a friend.”

“But-” 

“But nothing,” Rose snapped, working her jaw over the top of what he was trying to do. “I’m hanging out with him, aren’t I?”

“Yea??” Pabit said.

“Would I do that if I didn’t want to be his friend?” she asked.

“Uh??”

“No,” she hissed. “I want to get to know him, but this? This isn’t a conversation that can even happen yet, okay?”

Pabit’s mouth shook in what she assumed was the equivalent of trembling lips. She sighed softly. Very hesitantly, she reached up and pet his woven hair, trying to shoo off the emotional storm.

I bet Habit’s hair is softer.

“I’m glad he’s happy,” she said. “And I really… really want to be his friend. You’re gonna have to be happy with that for now, Pabit.”

Pabit sniffled, wiping his little eyes. “O-K…”

She kissed the edge of his little top hat. He laughed quietly and pushed at her face, to little effect. It was like holding a cat.

“I’m so bored,” He grumbled. “ Nothing exciting has happen-ed since the Big Event.”

“That’s life, dude,” Rose said, but she was already looking around for something to entertain him with. The room was mostly bare, now. The only thing left was the operation chair, which was bolted to the floor and not worth the effort to move.

She looked back at the book on the counter. Pursing her lips, she went and picked it up, looking over the cover again with her audience on the other hand. Unfortunately, it was… very hard to open a book with one hand. She shapeshifted another arm from her free side, praying Pabit wouldn’t take it upon himself to somehow possess that one too.

With two right hands, she got the book open and started idly flipping through pages. As expected, the whole thing was in Russian. A Latin based alphabet, Rose would have been able to fumble through, but she couldn’t even attempt this phonetically. It looked like a kid had drawn on every single margin of every page, to boot.

“Ur not human,” Pabit observed curiously. He didn’t seem put off, but she supposed a talking puppet had no right to be put off by such a thing.

“Not really,” she answered simply, looking through the doodles.

Pabit seemed contemplative. He literally put his little hand to his chin, just to emphasise how contemplative he was. She had to smile at it. 

“R u like dad??” He finally asked, looking her square in the eyes with an obvious, nearly childlike amount of hope.

Rose put the book down and glanced at the puppet on her arm, curious, but mostly discomforted. This kind of conversation never went smoothly.

“I’m a shapeshifter,” she said. “I dunno what Boris is, but I don’t… I don’t think it’s that.”

“Hmmm.”

“Not, uh… Not all of us have names,” she explained, turning around to sit on the counter. “The only ones with names are the ones humans know about. Everyone else just kinda names themselves, or… I dunno, stick with ‘people’.”

“So dad doesm’t have a name??” Pabit said, like the very idea offended him.

Rose sighed, shrugged, and leaned back against the wall. Truth be told, she’d assumed Boris was just a particularly strange human. It didn’t matter much to her. Shapeshifter, fae, demon, monster, vampire, mutant, variations, hybrids, etcetera etcetera… what did the names matter? People were people, in the end.

As long as they hide their differences, she thought, morosely. Nothing scares a human more than strangeness, and nothing gets people killed more than human fear.

That was… a bit too much to tell Pabit, though, so Rose kept her mouth shut.

“He’s just Boris,” she said, instead. “That’s the only name he needs.”

Barely moments into leaving them alone, Habit got nervous.

He tried to make himself busy, but it was too easy to clear out the paint cans - too quick. All too soon, he was left with nothing to do and nobody to curb his impulses. He stared at the door that hid Rose and Pabit from him. He stared for a while.

He knew he shouldn’t listen.

He knew that, but how could he be expected to stop himself? 

Boris touched the wall beside the door and clung to it till his form melted flat and black, hidden from the world. He listened to the soft noises inside. Each word out of Rose’s mouth only made him more nervous. If curiosity killed the cat, then he was in very big trouble.

But at the same time, how could he regret it?

Even whispering, Rose’s voice was so full of fire. Habit found himself admiring her… and frightened of her, in varying measures. Back when she was just the Florist’s Kid, she was measurable, controllable. Now she was Rose, and wasn’t that name ironic? Fitting?

As he listened, he found himself more and more distressed. On one hand, he was absolutely furious with Pabit. The little brat had never been well-behaved off camera, and he should have known better than to leave him alone with his only friend. 

On the other hand… 

“Ur not human,” he heard Pabit say, and it was everything he could do not to rush in there and strangle the little thing.

Rose replied as if she didn’t even care. “Not really.”

If Boris had been still before, he was frozen now.

“R u like dad??”

Habit clamped a hand over his mouth in denial of what the puppet had just said. No. No, Pabit, shut up, please. 

But Rose didn’t seem to care about that either.

Habit just… listened. Listened as Rose calmly talked about non-human folk. Listened as she said it didn’t really matter. Listened as he learned what she was, what she thought of him.

When she said “He’s just Boris,” Habit realized he was crying.

The way she said it… he could almost believe it.

He could almost believe he was fine, just like he was. Like he hadn’t become exactly what humans feared so much. Like he wasn’t a monster in the truest sense of the word.

He sank to the floor, noiseless and dark. His hands found his mouth and he suffocated the noises coming out, tempted to suffocate himself while he was at it.

He didn’t deserve this.

He deserved to… to…

Whatever he was about to think was abruptly cut off by the noise of the door opening.

He looked up in horror as Rose walked out, Pabit tucked under her arm like a book. There was nothing he could do to hide. Even if he’d wanted to, he couldn’t have gotten up fast enough to pretend he wasn’t listening. He couldn’t pretend he wasn’t crying.

She looked down at him, and Boris braced himself. For what, he wasn’t sure. Rejection felt like the right word. Anger or disgust, maybe. He expected her to leave.

When her face softened in something like pity, he momentarily couldn’t understand what was going on.

“Shit,” she said. She kneeled beside him, setting Pabit down on the ground. “Shit, I’m so sorry. You heard all of that, didn’t you?”

S… why was SHE sorry? Sorry for him eavesdropping?

Boris just stared at her, eyes stuck wide and tears flowing freely. His shadowy hands closed tighter over his mouth. Just a little higher, and he could suffocate. Just a little higher, and… 

Rose’s eyes traveled down to his hands - how could she see his limbs when he was a shadow? Boris didn’t know - and she gently reached out. Boris was so surprised and confused that he let her pull his hands away from his face. Her own hands turned black at the contact. Boris stared at them. 

“Hey,” she whispered. “Come on, don’t do that. Take a deep breath for me.”

Boris obeyed without thinking. Had he been holding his breath? It sure felt like it.

“Come on, do it with me,” Rose said. The darkness was traveling up her arms. Boris wanted to scream a warning, but instead, he tried to breathe in tune with her. She breathed deeply, slowly. In for 4 seconds. Hold for 2. Out for 4 seconds. 

“Y-You’’re… ar-armmms,” he whimpered.

Rose glanced down at her arms, almost entirely black. She pursed her lips, looking frustrated. In the next moment, Boris was staring at another shadow. She was… more solid than him. Like a blot of ink, congealed and jellowy. Her hands somehow felt the same as before.

She blinked up at him. Yellow eyes.

“Everything’s fine,” she promised. “Just keep breathing.”

He did his best to obey. Maybe he should just stop thinking, and just do what she said. That would certainly be easier. Everything she said to him was somehow easy. Like everything he did was somehow good, or at the very least a good effort. 

Maybe if he just did what she said, everything would be okay.

Boris stared into her eyes and did his best to breathe.

Pabit watched them from the floor, uncharacteristically quiet. Then again, he always got more docile when he wasn’t on someone’s arm. Even Boris didn’t know why.

“You’re doing good,” Rose said, and Boris felt the praise sink down to his tired bones. “Just like that. In for 4, out for 4.”

She was still holding his hands. Boris looked down at them blankly. Feeling was so much simpler than thinking, and Boris found his mind blessedly blank, save for the feeling of her hands under his. They were so small and warm. He tried to see where one shadow ended and another began, letting that take over his mind.

“I’’mm ssor’ryy,” he whimpered quietly, squeezing her hands.

“Don’t be sorry,” she said, as if that was the easiest thing in the world. “You’re doing good.”

“Sso… c-childish…” he murmured, trying to keep breathing.

“No, it’s not,” she replied immediately. She leaned forward and hugged him.

Boris stared at the wall behind her, trying to process what was going on. Eventually he gave up. He hugged her back, just focusing on how warm she was. She smelled nice. He relaxed a bit and breathed a little deeper.

“It’s not childish to cry,” she whispered. “Or to be curious, or to hurt. You’re not childish.”

“I’’,mm a m-monsnter.”

Rose huffed a laugh under her breath. She leaned back and took his hands again. “You’re just a person, Boris. You made a mistake with the teeth thing, but it’s okay.”

“N-no, it’s nnot.”

“Well, no,” she replied. “But I forgive you. And that’s a good place to start.”

He wanted to cry again when he heard that. He so, so desperately wanted to cry. Instead, he kept doing his best to breathe deeply. He reached down and picked Pabit up, sliding him onto his arm. The little thing turned around to face him, clasping his little hands.

“Lov u, dad,” Pabit said, gripping a lock of the man’s hair.

Oh.

Boris swallowed thickly.

He hugged the puppet to his chest, breathing through his teeth and tears. Rose touched his arm again, rubbing it softly and muttering little requests to breathe. Boris continued to do his best. Even if he really didn’t understand or deserve it.

“Y-you really… dom’t th-think I’m… a monster?” Boris asked, barely a whisper.

“I think everyone’s a bit of a monster,” Rose said, crossing her legs. “But that’s just how people are. You just gotta do your best.”

He hummed in response, closing his eyes. He didn’t know what to think of that.

“You’ll be okay, Boris,” he heard Rose promise. “I’ll help as much as I can.”

Hearing it from her felt so easy.

For a minute, he tried to let himself believe it, and think about nothing else.

“Th-thamk yyou.”


End file.
